5 Years We Made It
One right swipe to rule them all…
Today, April 15th 2022, marks a rather monumental moment for Shawn and I. As of this day, we’ll have known each other for five years. Those five years have included speedy dating, some major life choices, the military, having to move abruptly, a hellish apartment, a career change, a pandemic, moving across country in a pandemic, and buying a farm sight unseen.
I think we’ve mettle tested a marriage about as much as one can in a few short years.
Five years ago, I sat at my littlest cousin’s curling bonspiel and which incidentally put my swiping range within range of me seeing Shawn. We matched in the afternoon. “Please tell me your cat’s name is dickface”, was my opening line. I’m so smooth. We talked curling and hockey, agreeing to meet up at my local watering hole to watch Game 2 of the Maple Leafs and Capitals playoff series. Shawn walked in and met me at the bar. He gestured to a chair and said “May I sit?” I do love manners, and the immediate ability to check in for consent. I said, “Before you sit, where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
Look, he was cute and the chatting we’d had on tinder suggested he was a lovely human. I was in my 30s and pretty over playing games on not divulging life plans. I’m autistic, I’m no longer dating anyone “despite my autism”, and when I’m tired I’m terrible at putting things the “right” way and need to be able to be blunt with a person I share space with. He said, “I would love to be on some land out east, preferably Nova Scotia.”
I managed to casually gesture at the chair for him to sit, but inside I was thrilled there was a person whose goals immediately aligned with mine. I wanted out of Ontario more than anything. I was in love with Nova Scotia, and I wanted to be here. Was Shawn love at first sight? I don’t know. I think it was more “well checked and aligned life goals at first meetings”. I think we were both at a point in life where we were kind of past fairy-tale hopes and into very realistic life plans.
This is not at all to say that I don’t love and adore my spouse. I absolutely have one of the most compatible life partners one could ever hope for. I’m also realistic about the work we put into it and the raw honesty and vulnerability that has gone into what we’ve come to together. We’ve also had a lot of loving support around us, sometimes with confusion and a raised brow or five, but definitely good humans helping us towards our goals and just believing in us.
Today is the “where do you see yourself in 5 years” anniversary. As of April 23, we have been on our farm in NS for 7 months. We really really did it. Despite everything, we’ve arrived.
Happy Gotcha Day Shawn <3 I love you, and here’s to many more. We bloody well did it.